Guess who’s bald?

Posted by T. Greg Doucette on Dec 24, 2011 in Background | Subscribe

Happy Christmas Eve y’all! :)

This is a mostly pointless non-law-related entry, so consider yourself forewarned. I’m still working on school stuff and needed a break from law.

Top: Summer 1995, probably the longest my hair's ever been. Bottom: Today, the shortest my hair's been in my 30.75yrs of life.

And with a solid 2.5 weeks to go before school starts back, I randomly decided last night to try embracing my impending baldness and just cut off what little was left of my hair. :surprised:

It was a decision not made lightly… but one that was probably inevitable.

In the “Be Careful What You Wish For” Department, most of my younger years were spent cursing my mane. I was born with a full head of hair that tended to grow like kudzu for most of my life, and after it hit about 1/8″ in length it started to get absurdly curly.

My locks were so unruly throughout grade school that the occasional classmate would even inquire into my ethnicity (which successfully made me self-conscious about both what my hair looked like and the fact I only knew about a portion of half my bloodline). It was also problematic for pictures since the family often didn’t have the money to spend on haircuts every 2-3 weeks, but I didn’t trust anyone to cut it themselves.1

But then I joined Student Government in college and the hair thing “fixed” itself… :beatup:

My last year at N.C. State undoubtedly ranks as the single craziest period of my life, trying to juggle being a second-term Student Senate President, a first-term President of UNCASG, a legislative intern down at the N.C. General Assembly, and an about-to-be-graduated senior in Computer Science.

Top: 06/13/08, the day I was sworn in to the UNC Board of Governors (flanked by NCAT SBP Marcus Bass and ASU SBP David Mofford). Bottom: 03/27/10, explaining my proposed budget at a UNCASG meeting at UNC Charlotte.

Going through it at the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal; sure I was averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night, drank Vault Zero (and later Diet Mt Dew) like it was water, and would frequently skip meals to catch up on work, but I still felt great. I was on a near-constant emotional high from knowing I was helping to get things accomplished.

Then one day back in Fall ’08, QuietStorm came to visit me at the NCGA interns’ suite office, sat beside me, and noticed when I turned away that my hair basically wasn’t there.2 I had her take a picture with my BlackBerry because I didn’t believe her; seeing myself daily, I never really noticed a change from the front. She did, showed it to me, and I blurted out “oh my God” :beatup:

Sure enough, after spending most of my life wishing I had less-crazy curls, I was in the process of joining millions of guys globally down the path to no curls at all.

I fought it for awhile. I’d intentionally cut the rest of my hair über-short to make it look like I meant for it to look that way.3 And when I was in my friends’ wedding last week I had let the top grow out as far as it could for a few weeks and then asked the barber to try and blend the top with the sides so it wouldn’t look quite so sparse.

A guy who used to wonder why other guy’s would ever shell out $$$ for hair transplants, I suddenly found myself trying to preserve what little of my own hair I had left… until last night when I said “@#$% it, why not?” and sheared everything off.

It’s definitely going to take getting used to; my head’s oddly shaped, and I can’t help but feel like I sort of look like the convicts I see when I watch Lockup on MSNBC. But I refuse to be one of those people having an existential identity crisis because they lost their hair.

And not having to pay anyone for haircuts anymore helps ease the pain ;)

That’s it from me for the night y’all, thanks for reading my ruminations on the averted midlife crisis :) Have a good night good night and Merry Christmas in a few minutes! :D

  1. My mom screwed up once when I was in middle school and I thought I was going to die from embarrassment :beatup: []
  2. We had dated from 03/1999 to 09/2005, so she knew all about my bad hair days. []
  3. Bringing with it a realization that I’d need to start wearing sunblock on my scalp when I went out in the summer :crack: []

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4 Comments

Molly
Dec 26, 2011 at 12:29 PM

Daaaaang, I wish QS had video coverage of how she gently broke the news to you!!! XD Only an ex-gf can get away with such, no?! LMFAO


 
Tango3
Dec 27, 2011 at 5:50 PM

I had a guy that worked for me who was experiencing MPB (Male Pattern Baldness). One day, there was something immediately dire transpiring in the office that required his tacit presence and he was late. When he did arrive, I pleasantly (no, really) enquired as to the cause of his tardiness. I was informed that it was due to haircut. I immediately asked, “Why? You don’t prune a dead tree.” Fortunately I was standing in the doorway as the things that once covered his desk were projected with uncanny speed at and through said orifice. Wasn’t my fault he was late!!!


 
Dr. Juris
Dec 30, 2011 at 12:57 AM

The shaved head look isn’t bad for you. It actually makes you look younger, and your ears don’t stick out, which is what actually makes shaved heads look REALLY bad.


 

I think the shaved head is actually pretty flattering.
Consider yourself one of the (very) few luck ones. :)


 

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