“TDot and [insert name here], sittin’ in a tree…”

Posted by T. Greg Doucette on Sep 7, 2009 in Drama | Subscribe

Back when Facebook first unveiled their FB Chat function last year, I didn’t particularly like the implementation from a CSC perspective but thought it was a marginally useful web app for me to bypass the AIM firewall at my day job. At some point a few weeks later I logged in to update a Facebook group I had created for my poker buddies, and someone started asking me for an update on UNCASG. While talking to that person, someone sent me a message wanting to know about the next Student Senate meeting. Then my mom wanted to know if I was still going to graduate the next Spring. Then someone else wanted me to help fix their computer.  Before I knew it I was running 10 conversations deep and couldn’t extricate myself from any of them, so I abruptly logged out after about 30 minutes of getting nothing accomplished… without ever updating my Facebook group.

I haven’t used FB Chat since.

Until last week.  A classmate and I were talking via Facebook messages about school stuff, she got tired of how long the conversation was taking, and told me to get on FB Chat.  I logged in, realized you could now cut off your visibility based on your lists, promptly turned off every list except for law school, and proceeded to have a real-time conversation without any interruptions.

Since no one but NCCU 1Ls could see me online, I didn’t bother shutting down the Chat functionality when I was done.  That was probably a dumb idea.  I randomly log in today (while watching the USA Law & Order Labor Day marathon) and end up in the following conversation:

[Note: other than name changes, this is a copy-and-paste]
Legal Eagle:  hey man
Legal Eagle:  whats good wit u?
TDot: chillin’ man, finishing up laundry and studying for tomorrow. you?
Legal Eagle: figuring out where I’m gonna watch this game tonight!
TDot: cool deal
Legal Eagle: yeah man, FSU gonna whoop dat ass!
Legal Eagle: let me ask u a question. what’s up wit u and Madame Prosecutor?
Legal Eagle: heard u 2 were getting close
TDot: wtf…
TDot: whotf said that?
Legal Eagle: ppl talk man
TDot: define “people”
Legal Eagle: don’t worry about it bro. me and some of the guys were talking at lunch today and they had heard the same thing.
TDot: I just met her 3 weeks ago. We didn’t even have a non-law-related conversation until this past week.
Legal Eagle: that doesn’t sound like a denial to me lol. u tryin to smash?
TDot: are you fucking kidding me?
Legal Eagle: lol. no man i’m serious, i heard she was talking about u!
TDot: ok…
Legal Eagle: don’t u wanna know what she said?
TDot: not really
Legal Eagle: hahaha bullshit
TDot: I’m serious
Legal Eagle: u r lying bro
Legal Eagle: y not?
TDot: Let’s think about this. Just for the sake of argument, let’s pretend that I *didn’t* move only 30 minutes away for law school, that I *didn’t* have a life before law school, and that I *don’t* know or talk to or see any of the people I knew or talked to or saw in undergrad
Legal Eagle: u dont have to be like that
TDot: let me finish
TDot: So we’re assuming I live in isolation
TDot: And recalling that she and I just “met” essentially a few days ago
TDot: So 1 of 3 things are possible
TDot: If she said something positive, like “omg TDot is the most amazing guy ever”, I’m going to think she’s crazy b/c she doesn’t know me
TDot: If she said something negative, like “that TDot is such a prick I hate his ass”, who wants to hear that shit?
Legal Eagle: lol
TDot: And the most likely scenario is that all she said was “There’s some guy TDot in my classes, and this other guy such and such, and this chick so and so” and you’ve turned those first few words into something bigger than it is
Legal Eagle: hahaha
Legal Eagle: fuck u man its not like that
TDot: ok, so what did she say?
Legal Eagle is now offline
Legal Eagle is now online
Legal Eagle: sorry my fb is messing up
TDot: so what did she say?
Legal Eagle: what?
TDot: Madame Prosecutor? What did she say that had you and “some of the guys” all abuzz?
Legal Eagle: its not important man
TDot: y’all are ridiculous
TDot: deuces
Legal Eagle: I heard u bought her flowers for her birthday man
Legal Eagle: thats some heavy ish
TDot: dude it was a $3.99 potted plant from Food Lion
TDot: I figured it’d be a slightly more useful gift than a birthday card for the same $$
Legal Eagle: lol ok bro
TDot: my mind is really blown right now
TDot: I’m out, need to start studying for tomorrow
Legal Eagle: hahaha aight
Legal Eagle: peace

Really? Really? I expect this sort of thing from the Student Government crowd, or maybe 3rd graders. Apparently we don’t have enough studying to do or something…

To the people who have trouble keeping my name out of their mouth: give it a rest. Thx.

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Sep 7, 2009 at 11:07 PM

Not to derive joy from misery, but this made me laugh.

Sep 13, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Things seemed to have died just as quickly as they began, so looking back a week later now I can laugh about it alongside you :)


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