Posted by T. Greg Doucette on Sep 27, 2009 in Drama

[Edit @ 09/28/09: Apparently for at least the last 3 entries I’ve been hitting “Save Draft” instead of “Publish”, and since I went out of town for the weekend I never checked the blog to make sure they were online. So you’re getting this a day late. Sorry :P]

The drama from this weekend was ridiculous. Actually “ridiculous” doesn’t even adequately describe it, it’d be more like a blend of ridiculous and farcical and idiotic and a few other choice words thrown together.

For comparison, think less idle law school gossip and more Justin Timberlake.

It was sufficiently outrageous that I can’t even really give you the details, because several of the regular readers of law:/dev/null know the parties involved and have encouraged me to “be the adult” instead of putting the guilty ones on blast over the internet for Google to pick up.

I even tried to write a mini-synopsis, but it was too long.

So to condense down to the smallest number of words possible, essentially:

  1. I got falsely accused in multiple strings of profanity-laden text messages of activities that I wasn’t involved in and for which there was voluminous and incontrovertible evidence to the contrary;
  2. the initiating party was apparently surprised that I got pissed off as a result of the false accusations and essentially told her to take a hike;
  3. when said initiating party realized she had her facts completely and totally wrong, she felt it was appropriate to lie to me in an effort to explain away her drama queen stupidity; and,
  4. apparently I was supposed to take all of this in stride and either apologize (wtf?) or pretend like the whole chain of foolishness never happened in the first place (wtf?^2).

Since you folks who read my entries deserve better than the 4-point condensed version of what happened, in exchange for shortchanging you on that story I’ll offer a tidbit about myself:  I have a weakness for women who cry or are mentally unstable or otherwise hate their lives.

Why? My life is pretty amazing for reasons I can only attribute to divine intervention, so I tend to feel guilty if I can’t give friends what they want or cheer them up if they’re down. “What if they feel like their own life is miserable and I’m just making it worse?” is the typical thought that goes through my head. So I’m a fairly laid back and upbeat guy, and go out of my way to convince people to feel better about themselves and their own lives — because nothing bad lasts forever. I’m usually successful at brightening their days, which of course makes me feel better too.

At some point somewhere that must have turned into Captain Saveahoe Syndrome. That’s the only rational explanation I can find for a person I considered a friend somehow getting it into her head that she could so egregiously and gratuitously abuse my otherwise jovial nature with the accusations leveled against me (and then expect me to apologize to her. Again, wtf.).

Deuces. Captain Saveahoe is taking a vacation. Permanently.

Captain Saveahoe is taking a vacation. Permanently.

I refuse to play along, both with this chick and the other individuals I deal with who seem to be perpetually emo about everything in their lives.

So to the ladies out there for whom this is intended (and you know who you are):  I’m not a Care Bear, and I’m not going to be all “lollipops and rainbows” for you too.  Your life doesn’t suck, and neither does mine. The difference between the two of us is that I recognized that a long time ago.  It’s clear you don’t want to be convinced and that your continued existence is centered largely around the need for drama and attention.  The only attention you’ll be getting (from me at least) are my index and middle finger extended perpendicular to your direction.  And no, it’s not a peace sign.

To the rest of you, have a great night :)

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